Exams, labs, Fatigue. and MORE SNOW!

I am currently sitting in the IC ( study area at Loyola), trying not to fall over in my comfy chair and just sleep. Because of course, when there is an exam there is always one thing I do not get enough of, and that is sleep.  Considering the fact that I have two, well it only makes it a bit worse than usual. Not to mention the fact that I have lab from 2:30-5, which honestly goes way overboard because all of the activities are easy enough.  However, my professor enjoys taking up our time and talking about his own experience when he was a practitioner; which, while I think is interesting, it also prevents me from going home and just crashing on me bed.  I am honestly dying right now, and afraid of whether or not my body will be able to rest once I hit my bed.  It's one of those times when you are so tired ,that once you actually are able to withdraw from the world and enter a different dimension, your body does not remember how to.   Not quite sure why the body decides to do this to me, or why exactly it refused to fall asleep last night only to think about the upcoming hours in my day.  All I wanted was some shut-eye, a bit of rest before the unavoidable doom that would result from waking up early and taking an exam. Alas, the body does what it wants.  So, now I am here sitting and staring out the large open windows, the ones that let so much light in that it is impossible to close your eyes and ignore.  What does the outside look like?  Gloomy.  Just about 5 minutes ago it was an overall nice day (not too sunny, but not too cold), now it's just a drizzle coming down from above.  Oddly enough it also began to snow for like 10 seconds: it's over now.  Well, that is Chicago weather for those who don't know.  Welcome to the windy city!!! Where supposedly it is spring, but it is actually still snowing one second, sunny the next, and raining right after (with maybe a bit of hail). Enjoy!

I am back

Okay, so I have not kept up my blog, though I had told myself I would.  Honestly I had forgotten about this thing.  Only until about 2 days ago did I remember about my blog, and that is because one of my friends was writing in hers.  It's funny though because I look back to all the posts I had made and they are quite childish.  I mean, here I am four years later, now 21 years old, and trying to figure out what to do next with my life.  This is supposed to be the time where I know what to do with my life, at least according to everyone else.  However, I feel far from being this old.  I still have this emotion within me that brings me back to that first freshman day where I had no clue what came next. You know the feeling where something is new, and there are so many possibilities?  Yeah that is the one I am speaking of.  Except my life has gone up and down, and its a ride alright: a crazy, tumultuous, ring around the rosy.  I cannot quite shake the feeling that I am lost and have no one to guide me.  Looking around me, to everyone that is also on their way to graduate, they all seem like they have a hand on this so called Life.  Then, there is me.  I have a half, loosely made plan, the details are still quite not there, and the writing is a bit messy.  I don't even know how to make this plan happen, or even if I can.  I guess it is best to figure it out along the way, go with the flow, enjoy the ride, and calm down.  Everyone is trying to get to a destination, they have a goal set up that they want to reach, but that is not how life is set up.  Life is a continuous wave in motion, it does not stop once you reach that goal, it keeps going, on to bigger and better things.  You cannot keep thinking about where you will end up ,because (like that freshman feeling) there are so many endings to this story.  And the ending does not just stop it all, instead it opens the door to new beginnings, different times; it keeps you wondering.  I guess what I am trying to say is that having a plan does not matter, for life never goes the way you want; it has its own motivations, its own direction. You just play your part  in the whole act, you make the decisions but ultimately life takes you where it desires.